I’ve woken up with hangovers but this was the motherload. I can’t remember what I drank or what the night consisted of. I just know that I was fully clothed in a penguin suit and half my body hanging off the bed. My mouth was dry and my hair was stiff from the product that was in it. I don’t have a job or any real responsibilities other than the bare minimum Uber driving I need to do to stay living on my own. I just remember being really involved in my ‘Call Of War’ video game.
Then I saw it. It was a manilla that was packed tightly and rolled up with rubber bands. This weren’t any ordinary rubber bands. They were thick blue and pretty hard to pull off. I had to run to the kitchen and get a knife to cut off the bands. They snapped off and I begin to unraveling The Envelope. Inside the envelope was stacks of bills, like millions of dollars worth of bills. I poured the money on the bed and it was almost enough to cover the whole bed. Then I saw it. The white piece of paper in the mix of green paper. It was a note. The note read- “Mission successful.”
“What mission?” I asked myself as I tried to remember the events of the nights before. I walk to the shower and start the water. I stood in front of the mirror as I quietly undress and tried to figure out what to do with my new found fortune.
After my shower, I found a pair of shorts and a tee shirt in the pile of dirty clothes I left by the tub and walked to my living room. Sat on my couch and started my Xbox.
A pop up comes up on my screen informing me that I had a new message. I quickly open the message to see if I could find subtle hints of what I did to earn this amount of money.
Most of the messages went along the lines of “I can’t believe you did it.” Or “why would you do it.”
I decided to check my computer to see if Google had the right answers. I mean, come on, you can learn how to deep fry a turkey and change a ride in a simple search. As soon as my computer woke up from its sleep mode, I saw it.
“Prisoner being transferred offers $50 million cash to the person who gets him out.”
A Facebook message came through from my Ex.
“Are you there?” She asked.
I couldn’t avoid her. She could see when I am active.
“Yes.” I quickly responded.
“I didn’t think you were so bold to do something like that. I will take you up on your offer and run away with you.”
Wait, I thought to myself. Did I drunk text my ex-girlfriend and commit a crime? She left me for someone else who she started a life with and said that he was financially stable. Did I just win her back? Sweat started down my brow.